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Coworker just plain "doesn't like me"
Posted by: gnat
Date: 3/10/2005 6:07:42 PM
I work for a large company in a small group of 7 people. I am relatively new (a little less than 1 year) and have a coworker that just doesn't like me. I am a 40something female and she is 30. I think she feels somewhat threatened by my experience, but also complains that others do more work than I. I definitly carry my load and try very hard to be nice and fit in. The team is a pretty social group and often they do lunch, etc and rarely am I invited. I spoke with my biss previously and he talked to her about "being a nontem player" and was pretty harsh with his comments. I think that just added fuel to the fire. I am looking for suggestion to smooth things over. I just want everyone o get along. Any advice??
| Reply from: |
ant.hall |
| Date: |
3/22/2005 11:45:00 AM |
| Reply: |
I work for a global company and have a very diffucult operations manager who talks down to me and never allows me to explain my actions. He is abrupt with me and colleagues and is making my job hell and very stressfull, but if i take time of ill get the sack instantly for sickness. I have heard comments from my line manager that he doesnt think im capable of manageming my department although i constantly get praise from clients. what can i do? what rights do i have? i am at the point of serving my notice or lashing out at him. please help? |
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| Reply from: |
gabby |
| Date: |
3/24/2005 10:52:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I think you should nicely ignore her its all business. Say hello when you have to eat and when it comes to eating lunch by yourself catch up on some reading. It's hard being new but it will get better look out for yourself just remember when someone else is new to your office be an example an give that person a warm welcome. |
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| Reply from: |
kennethan |
| Date: |
9/20/2005 5:05:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I have stumbled along a similar situation and I have a couple points I want to make with you which will help.
1) Not everyone will like you at your job...it could be for any reason or no reason at all...get used to it because it is everywhere. The key is to stay professional with this person but also keep and arms distance. Talk about only work issues with her and say "Hello" in the morning and "goodbye" when you leave. Remember it is all about perception at work. Perception is reality.
2) You are still fairly new so of course you will not be invited to lunch with the clique(team) until you have earned the right from them by being there over time. If it never happens then find others in the office who will do lunch with you. The key is to be a team player in the office and not outside the office. Relationships take time to develop...just be pleasant and offer your help to them if you have time and you will soon reap the rewards. Until then....just chill and don't worry about it. |
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| Reply from: |
caz |
| Date: |
12/6/2005 10:59:00 AM |
| Reply: |
hya, the only advice i can offer you is to do what i have been forced to do, im in a very similar situation to you only its the new manager who i dont get on with, i have kept a diary of events and put them all together with a letter of formal complaint to the senior management, ive got to the point where i can bear no more of it and im now off work sick due to all the stress its causing me. Its themost uncomfortable way to feel in work isnt it, some of my colleagues will and have backed me up which is a big help in this situation, but for your job sake and your health and well being do something about it but follow the correct procedures. if you look under working practices online you will lots of usefull info as i have which helped make my decision. hope this helps as i know what your going through...regards caz |
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| Reply from: |
pla1554 |
| Date: |
3/23/2006 11:43:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Have you read up on what a workplace bully is? See if she fits the role at all. I have the same problem but I am not the only one although I am the newest employee so I am her target for right now. |
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| Reply from: |
40something |
| Date: |
10/16/2006 12:53:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Its hard to see what she has out for you, but when you start a new job the heads of dept's are going to show their big A word. You got to let time take it's coures or how ever it is spelled.I worked the same job for over 18 years so I took my share of a##kissers & thought they were my boss. There is always going to be someone out there to make life H### but you have to work with it as much as a person don't want to. |
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| Reply from: |
legalmind |
| Date: |
12/10/2007 7:57:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Work is not paradise, people do not always get a long. You boss knows she can be harsh to people that is why he got down on her. Instead of telling your boss just ignore her as if she does not exist and make your own friends and then go to lunch withouther.
If you start looking for another job lets unionize the place and you can be the union stewart. This would be grievance under a union contract and would stop as soon as the grievance was filed. |
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| Reply from: |
frstr8d_one! |
| Date: |
5/16/2008 7:55:00 PM |
| Reply: |
How about being honest and have a heart to heart with her? Something like, "I know we have had or differences but I would really like to work things out and clear the air. " See what she says. Listen, really listen to what she says and don't comment right away or think of what you are going to say. I know this is really hard, but really try to focus on what she says. If she says nothing, maybe she really just doesn't like you or she's scared you'll tell the boss. If she actually says something with some substance and has some reasons that make sense, maybe it's just a misunderstanding you can work out. Either way, she can't say you never tried to work things out. Just be professional and if she's any kind of human being, she will be ashamed for talking about you and criticizing you without cause. |
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