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jealous colleague
Posted by: mermaid
Date: 2/23/2005 3:38:25 AM
i have a problem with my colleague she is younger than me and she is acting like a school girl she is all the time competing with me although she does not have the experience as i have i am lawyer she is not she has a legal background but no experience as a lawyer, she does not leave the office unless i leave first and she keeps interrupting me and trying to take the lead even if she has no idea what she is talking about and the problem i am from the shy type. so i keep silent most of the times and that kills me.
| Reply from: |
ana |
| Date: |
3/2/2005 6:10:00 PM |
| Reply: |
She senses that you are shy and abusses it. Do not try to change - chances are that you are the serious type. Chances are also that others are or will be annoyed at her eventually. But it may be down the road. What to do now: Allow yourself to get angry at her. Practice this in a safe place. Presently you are focusing all the anger on yourself and blaming yourself for not dealing well with her. You need to find your voice, that is the quiet, and clam way to shut her up - her power comes from the fact that she is so annoying and rude, that a sensitive person is taken by surprise and indignation paralizes her - call it the Blitzkrieg.
It will be a many step process to deal with her, because there is a pattern in place already. But I am sure that if you just change the body language, keep a firm and calm attitude, so that she can feel your competence and confidence, she will get the hit.
Do not engage in any unessecary conversation or explanation with her. If possible, limit all professional communication to email. If she tries to embarrase or ridicule you in a meeting- engage other people's opinion. For example: "Do you agree with her point?"
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| Reply from: |
beijing |
| Date: |
7/29/2006 11:04:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I am in a similar situation, although I told my manager about the bully and she met with us to discuss it. The girl is still up to her old tricks and the manager plays little mind games with it. The co- worker is jealous of me and does not know the job as I do. She always talks over conversations I am having with people and acts as though she knows things she does not know. I told her once to back off and have mutual respect for he co-worker. I am thinking she is a bit of a jealous low life. Any good solid advice? |
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| Reply from: |
Juggalette92 |
| Date: |
7/25/2007 10:15:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Don't say anything to her. Just let her mess up and then I'm positive people will see who's better than who. If she does this constantly, then she's bound to screw up sometime soon. Just hang in there! |
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| Reply from: |
BlkPug3/20 |
| Date: |
1/24/2008 9:51:00 PM |
| Reply: |
my coworker became very interested in competeing for the best price for tickets for Disney. I am going to Disney for a honeymoon in June and she decided she would go in May. She photcopied my brochures, took notes on things that I spoke of, continued to ask dollar amounts, etc. She booked her vacation of course and now talks about it constantly in dollar amounts just to set me off and shove it in my face as to how much things cost for her compared to me and my fiance'. I have tried not talking about it but she keeps acting as if I am interested. what else can I do to get her off my back! It gets worse... her desk is right next to mine. If I say anything negative, she go to my boss and complain that I 'm begin negative. |
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