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Returning to work with a buuly boss
Posted by: urbano1
Date: 7/16/2007 8:22:27 PM
After a year and a half of bullying by my new male boss — I have worked with the company for six years — I had a mental breakdown due to severe bullying wich included humiliation, absolute lies, demotion etc. I have been off for three months and after the company found there to be no buling by the boss I have to go back. I am a bit frightened really. I have no idea what I am going to have to deal with. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can survive? I have looked for other work but there really isn't any.
| Reply from: |
cna |
| Date: |
7/27/2007 12:20:00 AM |
| Reply: |
Have you confronted your bullying boss? If you've been there for 6 years, and are now in a position of having to go back - you must have, at one time or another, asked this boss "what he was trying to accomplish". You know, you really can simply and calmly ask your boss that very question the next time he does anything you've described in your post. Simply say, "what are you trying to accomplish"?... Wait for an answer. If you don't get an answer, I would expect then that this boss is either completely incompetent as a boss and is probably not very happy in his own personal life. Maybe he takes delight in causing others to suffer. Not every 'boss' or supervisor has the talent or skills that are necessary to motivate their subordinates - nor, do they always want to. Yes, there is other work out there. Keep looking and don't stop until you find a right match. Read books and talk to others about how to communicate effectively with others in all situations. By asking your boss the question I've suggested, the worst thing that could happen is you'll get fired. It COULD happen. How would you feel about that? You CAN handle this. Now - just do it, and good luck. |
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| Reply from: |
urbano1 |
| Date: |
9/6/2007 8:02:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Actually they won't fire me. The boss is just trying to make me quit by picking on me constantly, I asked as you said. That was his answer. Of course no witnesses.
He is so hard on me that if I miss a quotation mark I get verbally attacked. I was told last week that I was the worst (worker) he had ever had to deal within all of his years in the industry. Before he came I was told I was on of the best. He is abusive and has somehow even made the top boss believe all of his lies. He treats me vastly different than the rest of the staff he is in charge of. It's gotten so bad that it is mobbing by them as well. I go to work shaking in the morning and come home with a headache. I am tired. I just wish I could get out of there or have someone anyone listen to me. The big wigs at head office don't seem to care either. But I am not willing to quit. I have a mortgage, student loans, and a child to take care of. I am looking for other work. But so far no go. I can't afford career counsel. I can't afford a laywer either. Basically I am at a loss. What is the worst part. I love my job and I am good at it. OK not the best typest, but that is not a requirement of my job. I am fighting a big company that just doesn't care. |
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| Reply from: |
cna |
| Date: |
3/1/2008 6:28:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Ok. It sounds like you are being singled out by your nasty boss. You said in your 9/6/07 post that you asked your boss what he was trying to accomplish, and he said it was to get you to quit. And the company big wigs don't give a flip either. Ummm. I understand you love your job and have debts to pay, and a child to take care of. I've been there! There are some attorneys and other legal representatives that would either not charge you for a consultation, or to assist you in filing legal charges against, not only your boss, but the entire corporation, as these other people are co-consipirators in your bosses abusive behavior. I wouldn't wait. It sounds like you've been putting up with way too much for a long time now. I hope you know in your heart and your gut that you don't deserve this kind of treatment. No one does. See what you can find out with legal assistance. It concerns me a great deal to know that you, and other women are STILL being subjected to this kind of bullying on the job. I would also strongly suggest that whenever it's possible, when you have any interaction with your boss, to have a TRUSTED co-worker with you. This co-worker would have to be willing to 'go to the mat' with you. That means being open to any retaliation from the boss - including being fired. Write again. I'll be looking for your posts/response. Take care. cna |
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| Reply from: |
cna |
| Date: |
3/1/2008 6:38:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Additional info from my last response to you. In your original post, you stated that you had suffered a mental breakdown, BECAUSE of the initial bullying by your boss - you took a leave of absense and then went back. Here's the answer in a 'nut-shell'.
YOUR BOSS IS DISCRIMINATING AGAINST YOU. There are laws through the ADA, (Americans' With Disabilities) Act, that will protect you from this illegal act, by your boss. If you're not an American, find out what comparable laws exist in your area. Believe me, you do have options - more than you might know. Fight for yourself. Good luck!! |
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