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    Please help...backstabbing co-worker

    Posted by: antoniette
    Date: 5/10/2007 10:30:22 AM

    hi...i am hoping you all can give me some advise...what i've read so far in other articles about backstabbing people is that it needs to be confronted...and so i've set up a meeting with my boss and this person to air the problem. the thing is, i don't want to be defending myself the entire time. and i'm not sure how to not come across that way. so how do i enter the convo, be accused of these actions and not come off deffensive?

    anyway heres what happened;

    i got a job with a great boss in a new store. i love (loved) my job and my boss. well, my neighbor, who is the 'know-it-all' type go getter, was crying to me about neededing a job too. so i turned her on to my employer, who eventually hired her. and i might say that while my neighbor was waiting to hear back from my boss to weither she was hired or not, she called me nearly every day. back to the subject. so she got the job, and we've worked together for aprox. 4weeks so far, one day we work only an over-lapping shift of 4hours, and then work together two whole shifts for todays straight. now forgive me for being so long winded, but i believe that you all need to know everything to give good adive. forgive me if i'm wrong. its just my opinion. thankfully i dont have to work with her on a daily basis. in her previous job, whenever she would call me or talk in passing, she'd always complain about the people she worked with being 'backstabbers' and how she always had to cover her butt in everything she did.

    so, we've worked toegether for 4weeks. in our job, which is a very small mom and pop comp., there is only 3 of us and i'm the youngest at 39. figures right? lol. we wait on customers based on an "up" system and honor. more times then i can count, she has blantently taken my turn and doubled up. most of the time i say nothing and silently fume for a few minutes. in the begining after the first few times when it happened, there was once when i kept my mouth shut until i felt i could say something about it calm and cool, and asked her as gentle as i could to 'please give me a chance to get to my customer for my turn' to which she kinda went off on me about not seeing me standing there in the room. ??.

    anyway, all this is just to give alittle background issue on what i've been dealing with thus far. now comes the latest issue. BACKSTABBING. i worked with her all day on sunday, ever the pleasure. it was a good day for me because i had some sales, and she ended up with a sale at the very end of the day before we closed. we talked about how it was a good day for both of us and she left saying good bye. the next day i came to work, our other lady that works with us confronted me as soon as i walked in the door asking me 'what in the world happened yesterday because my neighbor had called her up asking for the bosses cell number, completely upset about something i did to her the day before'. she said that our boss was going to come in to have a talk with me. now at this point i'm clueless, nothing was wrong yesterday that i knew of. i got no vibes from my neighbor that she was upset in the slightest, and we work together in the small one room business selling the items we have. after a long day of tying to figure out what was going on suddenly, my boss came in and we talked about the 'issues' that my neighbor had called her about. it seems that she felt i was interfering with her customers, not vaccuming, not cleaning the displays, and had been talking to a 'competetor' which is against my contract and can loose me my job. and who but my boss knows what else she said that my boss didn't say to me.

    now after trying to figure out with my boss what happened, and also with the other lady that we work with, who disagrees on how my neighbor went behind my back to complain about me to my boss. and she tried to get my neighbor to come in and discuss it with the three of us face to face, but was told that our boss was going to look at the tape to deal with me.

    i am just flabbergasted. i feel sick to my stomach around her. can't even look at her face and i'm sucking down such anger, disbelief, and whatever else...that my job that i loved so much...i dont even want to go back to.

    please help.

    antoniette



    Reply from: katz
    Date: 6/14/2007 2:03:00 PM
    Reply: Just came across your message. How did things go? The 'tape' should show exactly what did or didn't happen. Good luck.

    Reply from: cna
    Date: 7/12/2007 6:09:00 PM
    Reply: You are in a position with your neighbor -who now is a competitor as far as your sales quota stands. Every thing else that goes with 'this job' will be exactly the same as if you never knew this neighbor-co-worker. If she really makes you feel sick to your stomach-and more importantly, you truly don't like this job anymore, start looking for a different one-and for heavens sake-keep it to yourself. Don't even tell 'her' or anyone you work with where you'll be working at next. Backstabbers love to 'follow' where ever they need to. Oh, and by the way-stop apologizing all the time. This co-worker might be seeing you as submissive and an easy target to 'pick at'.

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