Navigation
Home
Books
Discussion Forum
Articles
Useful Sites
Vault
Newsletter
RSS News Feed
Corporate Sponsors
FAQ
About Us
Contact
Privacy
Subscribe:
"Workworries News"
via email or RSS
Login:
Registration is confidential, free, and has a
number of benefits.
Key Books
What Your Boss Doesn't Tell You Until It's Too Late: How to Correct Behavior That Is Holding You Back
Coward's Guide to Conflict
The American Bar Association Guide to Workplace Law: Everything You Need to Know About Your Rights As an Employee or Employer
|
[Back to message list]
[Reply to this topic]
[Start a new topic]
Backstabbed!!! What to do???
Posted by: krye
Date: 10/5/2008 4:40:36 PM
I made a major mistake at work. A coworker(call her Jill) caused problems for me at work, getting me in trouble with my boss etc. Another coworker (call her Angie) had the same problems with this coworker- when we roomed at meetings together we vented about this coworker equally. Before our next meeting, Angie told me her boss wanted her to room with someone else that was a new employee. I thought this was strange but I took her at her word. When I got to the meeting Angie and I were still acidentally roommates. Angie and her coworkers were alienating and weird towards me if we were not alone. As soon as Angie and I were alone she was normal and more like herself. I could not put my finger on it til one of my other coworkers (Fran) told me that Angie told her boss that she doesn't want to room with you because you bash Jill everytime you room with her. I am not to reveal Fran's information. And Angie's boss has been cold towards me also-makes sense. Yet Angie bashed her more than I did! And I felt like Angie is befriending Jill and feels guily about what she said and wants to make me the bad guy. I feel so stupid and I thought I could trust Angie but I have been majorly backstabbed. What to do???? Help? I am afraid to say anything to anyone. Now I doubt my character judgement too! The only thing I did do was write Angie a note saying, "So sorry you got stuck with me as a roommate but I will make sure the arrangement is changed so you can room with the new employee next time. Sorry for the inconvenience." Any advice.
| Reply from: |
cna |
| Date: |
10/21/2008 6:56:00 PM |
| Reply: |
Talking about co-workers, with a co-worker is tricky, as you've found out. 'Angie' could simply have observed a different side of 'Jill' - after she verablly bashed her, with you when the 2 of you roomed together. People can and often do change their minds about a person. I think you're right, that Angie felt guilty and she is now making you the scapegoat. My theory on co-workers, no matter how friendly they are, is simply not to trust them enough by saying anything to them that you wouldn't want repeated or that could blow up in your face. What you did, was human nature. 'We' all talk about someone, sometimes in the course of a day/week. You felt secure and validated when venting to Angie. She felt the same with you, until she changed her mind about Jill. My suggestion would be to ask your direct supervisor/boss to allow you and Angie to have a meeting, with your boss. Explain to both of them (at the same time) what has transpired. Don't make it a blame game. Own your share of the responsibility and state that it will never happen again. As far as writing Angie notes about 'being sorry she got stuck with you as a room-mate'...don't do that. She is as guilty as you for the talk-talk about Jill. Try to keep things light and just focus on your job. This could very easily blow over if you keep your chin up and carry yourself with confidence. Promise yourself you won't talk about any other co-workers with co-workers. You'll be alright. Hang in there!! |
|
| Reply from: |
mls1016 |
| Date: |
11/4/2008 8:10:00 PM |
| Reply: |
I completely understand how you must have felt and probably still do. I have had to learn the hard way that you can not be friends with anyone at work. I know how cold this must sound to you but I have recently had every personal conversation that I had with my best friend of 15 years used as leverage for her to reposition herself with my company again. This by the way removed me from my current management position to make room for her. You best freind is your enemy!! Oh and I don't think she changed her mind about Jill. I think that the information with Jill was tastier than yours. She seems to me to be a feeder.n Someone who dines and survives off of the concerns and disappointment of others. She enjoys it. My best advice....if you have something that is bothering you about a co-worker go tell them yourself before someone else does it for you. |
|
To reply to this topic or add a comment, just complete our
20-second registration process which is free
and confidential. If you have already registered, you need to log in.
[top]
|
Question created by DDI.
Search
Popular Items
Corporate Sponsors
WorkWorries.com is completely free for both individual and corporate use.
Corporate sponsorship opportunities are available.
|